An August fable - Journal of Chemical Education (ACS Publications)

Aug 1, 1971 - A fable about an alchemist who teaches a young chemist how to make aphrodisiacs. Keywords (Feature):. Editorially Speaking. Keywords ...
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An August Fable

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Some years ago, long before the rules of love handed down from Mt. Olympus by Venus were redefined by the liberated female, a chemistry graduate student, interested in teaching as a career, visited a wise old alchemist, seeking his advice on the preparation and administration of aphrodisiacs. The alchemist, desiring to learn what lay behind this interesting request, asked the student what he hoped to do with this knowledge should it be revealed to him. The student replied that he felt it would be invaluable to him in his teaching, and that it offered almost unlimited opportunities for research projects of unusual promise. The first part of this response intrigued the alchemist and the second part amused him; and, having concluded that the student possessed a combination of qualities worthy of encouragement, he gave him the following instruction. "There are five classes of aphrodisiacs, based on the type of physiological response desired; there are five types of situations in which they may he administered with impunity; and there are five varieties of subjects that can be expected to give measurable responses to them. "The five classes of aphrodisiacs, named in accordance with the response they produce are: lustily aggressive, joyously cooperative, sensuously seductive, possessively voracious, and spiritually fulfilling. The five situations in which they can'he administered are: when desire is present, hut must he intensified; when desire is present but must be moderated; when inhibition, fear or doubt overwhelm desire; when desire must be created; when desire must be recreated. The five classes of subjects can he described as: the young and idealistic, the young and skeptical, the mature and seeking, the mature and well-adjusted, the mature and ravaged. "Especial care must he exercised to he certain the medication is compatible with the subject and the sitnai tion. Disastrous, and in some cases irreversible, effects have resulted from improper combinations. Unusual difficulties have been reported, for example, when lustily aggressive class treatment is administered to mature and ravaged subjects under conditions in which desire is present but must be moderated. Similar complications arise when young and skeptical subjects are given joyously cooperative type medication in dosages prescribed for situations in which desire must he recreated. "Before revealing any more to you, I must have your solemn pledge that you will use this information with

extraordinary discretion at all times, and I must warn you that unless you can discipline yourself to use i t in moderation, it can he harmful to your health." Having been enthusiastically assured by the student that he would forever abide by these conditions, the alchemist continued. "The chemical compositions of the potions of the several classes of aphrodisiacs are a t the same time simple and subtle. For the lustily aggressive class, the medication is confidence and hope; for the joyously cooperative variety it is love and trust. Beauty and promise is the medication for the sensuously seductive type, while excitement and creativity are required in the possessively voracious formula. Finally, the medication for the spiritually fulfilling class is vision and respect. "The chemicals needed to develop confidence and hope are heme and starch in a ratio of one part heme to ten parts starch. Heme provides the basis for health and strength which together constitute the fire of life. Starch supplies the energy reserve. The formula for love and trust consists of wine and salt in s ratio of 15 parts wine to one part salt. Wine reconciles need with compassion, salt blends all bodily functions into a unity of purpose. Beauty and promise require sugar and meat protein in about equal proportions-sugar to provide the essence of beauty, protein to supply variety and viability. One part vitamin B to ten parts phosphate is the compounding formula for excitement and creativity. Vitamin B is the catalyst for overcoming indolence and indifference; phosphate heightens sensitivity. Vision and respect can he intensified by mixtures of vitamin A and potassium salts in varying proportions. Vitamin A increases the concentration of visual receptors and stimulates trenchance. Potassium is the ion needed in the innermost workings of the body; without i t deep understanding and appreciation are impossible. "The real secret to successful application of these formulas is in the dosage used, in the creation of situations conducive to proper administration, and in the length of time spent working with a subject. The treatment can be perfected only by experience and persistence. "Yon now have the background needed to embark on your study of this topic. I hope you will find what I have told you helpful in your research and in your teaching." WTL

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Volume 48, Number 8, August 1971

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