Bringing History to the Classroom: Spoofs about Problems in

Chemistry for Everyone

Bringing History to the Classroom: Spoofs about Problems in Obtaining Research Grants Sidney Toby Department of Chemistry and Chemical Biology, Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, Piscataway, NJ 08854-8087; [email protected]

This article is a spoof on the History of Science and consists of four skits depicting the difficulties famous men and women in science might have had in fictional interviews while seeking funding for their research. Although they may provoke humor, the interviews are, if not literally true, at least plausible and the intent is pedagogical. It is hoped that students’ interest may be aroused concerning the history of science and that the problem of funding for research in areas with no obvious or immediate practical applications will be discussed.

Scene I

By trapping a gas in one limb of a tube I could measure the effect of pressure on it.

NARRATOR: As you probably know, funds for research are very scarce. Nowadays you have to convince the various granting agencies that you have a really top-notch research proposal before there’s any hope of getting a grant. Have you ever wondered how the great scientists of the past would have fared if they had to apply to some bureaucratic granting agency for research funds? Here is our impression in four fictional scenes of how things might have gone. Our first scene takes place 300 years ago in an office in London.

PEPYS: [not very interested] Oh. How was this done? BOYLE: My assistant poured quicksilver down the tube… PEPYS: You had an assistant? BOYLE: [becoming slightly impatient] I had an assistant. As the pressure increased, I found that the volume... PEPYS: The assistant’s name? BOYLE: ’Tis of little consequence sir, but his name is Hooke, Robert Hooke. At any rate I find that I can frame the law describing the relation between the pressure of a gas and its volume.

[knock at door] PEPYS [at desk]: Come in. [Boyle comes in, stands nervously in front of desk]

PEPYS: And what is the value of this law?

PEPYS: Let me see, you’re Mr. Robert Boyle is that right? BOYLE: It is, sir. PEPYS: Mm. [looks up for first time] I am Samuel Pepys, Office of His Majesty’s Naval Research. Sit down Boyle, we are not formal here. [Boyle sits] Is it the Honorable Robert Boyle?

BOYLE: It is a new law of natural philosophy. [waxes enthusiastic, standing] It applies universally to all gases: carbonic gas, nitrous gas, noxious gases. And it is exact! PEPYS: [unimpressed] Really. What else have you done, Mr. Boyle.

BOYLE: No sir, it is plain Mr. Boyle.

BOYLE: I have written a treatise on chemistry.

PEPYS: But your father...

PEPYS: The title?

BOYLE: My late father was the second Earl of Cork but I did not inherit his title.

BOYLE: “The Sceptical Chymist: or Chymico-Physical Doubts and Paradoxes, Touching the Spagyrist’s Principles Commonly Called Hypostatical, As They Are Wont To Be Proposed and Defended by the Generality of Alchymists”.

PEPYS: Pity. I see by these documents that you were born in Ireland. BOYLE: In Lismore Castle, Mr. Pepys. Our family was of the gentry who settled in Ireland to civilize that colony.

PEPYS: Is that just the title? BOYLE: It is, sir. Now let me explain...

PEPYS: Indeed. And what have you done that you seek an award from us?

PEPYS: Then God save us from the rest of the book. We are mortal men, Mr. Boyle, and we have but three score years and ten to conduct our affairs. I must tell you that His Majesty’s Office of Naval Research is concerned with practical matters and not with [scornfully] obnoxious gas and such like. I cannot therefore encourage you in your work until you show a more practical bent. Now your assistant Hooke is a practical man. He was here last week to demonstrate his Hypothesis of Springiness...

BOYLE: I have studied the behavior of gases with diligence.

BOYLE: Hooke? Hooke was here? [annoyed]

PEPYS: Did you have difficulties in Ireland? BOYLE: Oh no, sir. The Irish natives are very happy to be under his majesty’s noble rule. PEPYS: Naturally. And you returned to England? BOYLE: I wished to pursue natural philosophy.

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Vol. 81 No. 4 April 2004

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Journal of Chemical Education

503


PEPYS: …for springs are important and Hooke understands them.

WÖHLER : [rather huffily] As a matter of fact I made it myself from potassium cyanate.

BOYLE: [angry] But Hooke is an ignoramus!

MITSCHERLICH: Where did the potassium cyanate come from?

PEPYS: We can make use of springs. BOYLE: [in fury] Hooke knoweth not his arse from his elbow!

WÖHLER : I synthesized it from potassium cyanide. MITSCHERLICH: Where did the…

PEPYS: [ignores the outburst and shepherds Boyle out] So you come back Mr. Boyle when you have something for us practical men, eh?

WÖHLER : [impatiently] The potassium cyanide was made from potassium ferrocyanide. The potassium ferrocyanide was bought pure from the tanning factory.

BOYLE: [stalks off in a huff ]

MITSCHERLICH: From the tanning factory. Of course. And do you know how the tanning factory makes its potassium ferrocyanide, Herr Wöhler? It makes it from the residue of horns, hooves, and hides that came into the tanning factory. Pish on your ammonium cyanate! The vital force was there all the time. Do you think we are ignoramuses here at the Duke of Brandenburg’s Zentralwissenschaftliches Forschungsamt? We get presumptuous blockheads like you all the time. Last week a crazy Italian called Amadeo Avogadro tried to tell me that a liter flask with an atmosphere of any gas in it would contain the same number of molecules. That’s like saying that my bathtub will hold the same number of cannonballs or tennis-balls or golf balls. That is obvious nonsense and contrary to all common sense. [apoplectic] And you, sir, with your “overthrowing” of the vital force theory. Are you trying to take the spark and meaning out of our lives? Do you really believe that the chemicals in our body could be made from materials that were never alive?

Scene II NARRATOR: We now skip 170 years, to the early 19th century. At this time organic chemistry was emerging from the primeval slime. Our second scene takes place in a room of the castle of the Duke of Brandenburg. MITSCHERLICH: Come in. WÖHLER : I am Friedrich Wöhler, Herr Doctor Mitscherlich, and I wish to apply for an award to further my research in organic chemistry. MITSCHERLICH: And what is your research, Herr Wöhler? WÖHLER : By your leave, Herr Doctor Mitscherlich, permit me to ask a question. What is organic chemistry? MITSCHERLICH: Obviously it is the chemistry of organic matter. WÖHLER : And that is? MITSCHERLICH: The chemistry of life, of living organisms. Of materials that have vital force. WÖHLER : Just so, well I have just overthrown the vital force theory. MITSCHERLICH: [smiling] You are not serious, Herr Wöhler. WÖHLER : Very serious, Herr Doctor. You will agree that urea is an organic chemical? MITSCHERLICH: Of course. It is formed by many living organisms. WÖHLER : It is indeed. Urea is a typical organic substance. But I have synthesized it from inorganic nonliving materials! I have synthesized urea from ammonium cyanate. MITSCHERLICH: [thinking hard] From ammonium cyanate you say. WÖHLER : Yes, it is a simple reaction. I make a warm solution of… MITSCHERLICH: [cutting him off] Where did you get the ammonium cyanate from? WÖHLER : Oh Herr Doctor, you need not worry about purity. I recrystallize my materials many times. MITSCHERLICH: [stonily] Where did you get the ammonium cyanate from? 504


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WÖHLER : Yes I do. And I will be proved right. MITSCHERLICH: Not with the Duke of Brandenburg’s money, you won’t. Good-bye, Herr Wöhler. WÖHLER : Good-bye, Herr Doctor Mitscherlich. [sotto voce] And you know what the duke of Brandenburg can do with his money! Scene III NARRATOR: We don’t want you to think that nobody who applies for a grant gets one. Sometimes the interviews have happy endings. Our third scene takes place in the office of the President of the French Academy in the late 19th century. MME: Monsieur le President? M: At your service. You are Mme Pierre Curie? MME: Yes, Monsieur, I am Marie Sklodowska Curie. M: Well, well. We don’t often get charming young ladies like yourself here. I suppose your husband sent you here because he was too busy to come himself. [hand around her shoulder] MME: [hint of ice] No Monsieur. My husband asked me to come because he thought I could explain our research better than he could. M: You don’t say so? And what is your research? MME: Pierre and I are doing research in physics and chemistry.


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M: Physics? I used to be a physicist myself but I gave it up years ago. There was obviously nothing new of any importance to be discovered. Why waste time taking the same old measurements? Oh well, a little more accuracy doesn’t do any harm, I suppose.

Scene IV

MME: It is more than just a little more accuracy M. le President. We have discovered that some materials give out an emanation that can go right through matter.

JENKINS: Come in please. [Jenkins is a resolutely cheerful type]

M: Really, Madame, that sounds a little far fetched. MME: I do not think so. This radiation can go completely through metal foil. M: [mildly irritated] You expect me to believe that? Come now! MME: Does not light pass through glass? Cannot a magnetic field penetrate a brick? M: [dumbstruck for a moment, then petulant] Well if you’re so enlightened, Mme. Curie, why can’t you vote? MME: [sweetly] Oh, but I can, M. le President. It’s just that you won’t let me. M: [sheepishly] I cannot change the laws of nature. But to get back to your research, what else has been accomplished? MME: We have discovered two new elements, polonium and radium. M: That’s very interesting but it’s not the sort of thing that the Council will vote money for. We need practical applications. MME: This is fundamental work. [with quiet intensity] The world will catch up with it and devise its own applications. And it has beauty. Do you know radium glows constantly in the dark? M: Now that is something we could work on. MME: My friend Ernest Rutherford tells me that we shall revolutionize physics. M: [not listening] I’ve always wondered whether it would be possible to find a paint that glowed in the dark. MME: [continues unheeding] And it doesn’t matter if it’s radium sulphate or nitrate or carbonate, the radiation is the same! M: A luminous paint could be used for a sign or a clock face. MME: Imagine. A process totally different from any known chemical transformation! M: I have it. A luminous chamber pot! I’ve always wondered where the damned thing was when I wake up in the middle of the night. MME: [coming back to earth] I am changing physics and chemistry and you are worrying about improving your aim in the dark? M: [stands up and starts to usher her out] My dear Mme Curie, we men of affairs have to translate your laboratory experiments into ways of benefiting mankind. You just leave it to me and you’ll get funds you are seeking. [in reverie] Just fancy, I wouldn’t have to grope around . . . [exeunt]. www.JCE.DivCHED.org

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NARRATOR: Our last applicant for research funds needs no introduction; but he wasn’t always as well known. Our last scene takes place in Washington, DC in the 20th century. EINSTEIN: Is this the grant application department? JENKINS: That’s right. May I help you? EINSTEIN: I believe so. My name is Einstein, Albert Einstein. JENKINS: How do you do, I’m Eldridge Jenkins. What is your research field Dr. Einstein? EINSTEIN: [sits down] It is relativity. JENKINS: [looks blank for a moment] Oh I’m sorry. You have the wrong division, [starts to usher Einstein out] you want the social sciences... EINSTEIN: [murmurs gentle remonstrance] JENKINS: ...they’re down the corridor to your left. This is the physical sciences division. Just go down the hall... EINSTEIN: No I want the physical sciences; I am a theoretical physicist. JENKINS: Really? Well I can’t think what relativity has to do with physics. EINSTEIN: [settles down again, ready for a long explanation] Allow me to explain... JENKINS: You know I have an uneasy feeling that I’m not going to understand this. Can you tell me in simple language what you have discovered? EINSTEIN: I have discovered that absolute motion has no meaning. JENKINS: [looks totally blank] Er, maybe you’d better tell me what relativity is after all. EINSTEIN: It’s really very simple. Is your desk moving? JENKINS: Of course not. EINSTEIN: But suppose you were at the center of the earth. Would you not see your desk zooming overhead at 1000 miles per hour? JENKINS: I’m not sure... EINSTEIN: And if you were on the sun wouldn’t you see your desk orbiting the sun at thousands of miles an hour? JENKINS: I would? EINSTEIN: And the whole solar system is moving towards the star Vega at even greater speeds. JENKINS: Now wait a minute, this desk is right here. It’s stationary; it’s not going anywhere. EINSTEIN: Oh yes it is. Relative to you its velocity is zero, but you have no right to assume that you are stationary or that your frame of reference is any better than that of a man on Vega.


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JENKINS: Are you trying to tell me that there are men on Vega? EINSTEIN: Give me strength. JENKINS: First he tells me that my desk is flying around. Then he says there are men on Vega. The crackpots I have to put up with in this job. [to Einstein] We’re not getting anywhere, Albert. Have you done anything useful? EINSTEIN: A small thought: the interconversion of matter into energy. JENKINS: No that’s no good. Come back when you have something practical. [puts his arm on Einstein’s shoulder] I’m so sorry, Doctor Albert. But I’ve really had my limit for today. [shepherds him out] Some other time, some other time. EINSTEIN: [leaving] All I wanted was $37.50 for travel funds. Questions for Students 1. What is: (a) Boyle’s Law, (b) Hooke’s Law? Are they dependent on temperature? Comment: Although Boyle’s Law is strongly dependent on temperature, Boyle did not specifically state this when he enunciated his law in 1622. Sixty years later, E. Mariotte delineated the temperature dependence. The proportionality constant in Hooke’s Law is related to Young’s modulus of elasticity, which has a weak, negative temperature dependence. 2. Why did the vital force theory not disappear with Wöhler’s synthesis of urea? Comment: S. Gupta (Nature, 2000, 407, 677) points out the dilemma in which the eminent J. Berzelius found himself when his student Wöhler declared that his synthesis of urea overthrew vitalism. Gupta describes Berzelius as antagonistic to the atheistic materialism that he felt abandonment of vitalism would bring. According to the historian J. R. Partington, vitalism persisted long after Wöhler’s synthesis in 1828 and was not abandoned until H. Kolbe synthesized acetic acid from unambiguously “inorganic” sources. He started with carbon disulfide which can be synthesized from its elements. 3. What elements did Marie Curie discover? Did she win any Nobel Prizes? Comment: Curie was one of only four people to have won

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two Nobel Prizes. In her case, the first (1903) was in physics for discovering radioactivity (shared with her husband Pierre and H. Becquerel). The second (1911) was in chemistry for discovering polonium and radium. 4. Could Einstein have produced his theories without major funding? Did he win a Nobel Prize for his Relativity theory? Comments: Einstein’s initial poverty did not seemingly impact his creativity. He was not able to obtain a teaching post and was employed as a technical assistant in the Swiss Patent Office when in 1905 he published three papers of enormous importance. They were on the theoretical explanation for the Brownian motion, on what was later called the Special Theory of Relativity, and on the photoelectric effect. The latter led to a Nobel Prize in 1921. 5. The interviewers in the first, third, and fourth dialogues were very concerned with the apparent lack of practical applications of the grant applicants’ areas of research. Can you think of any practical applications of (a) Boyle’s Law, (b) Curie’s discovery of radioactive elements, (c) Einstein’s relativity theory? Comment: Among many possible examples are: (a) the calibrations on gas cylinder gauges, (b) radiocarbon dating; radioactive “seeds” in cancer therapy; gamma ray images of stressed metal supports in bridges, and (c) the accurate prediction of spacecraft orbits in gravitational fields; the change in mass of particles moving at high speeds in a particle accelerator. Acknowledgment The author is glad to acknowledge helpful suggestions from the referees. Bibliography 1. A classic reference is the long out-of-print: Partington, J. R. A History of Chemistry; Macmillan: London, 1961. 2. A good general-purpose, available history is: Brock, W. H. The Norton History of Chemistry; W. W. Norton & Co.: New York, 1993. 3. The Web is a useful source of material. Lists of Nobel prizes in chemistry and physics from 1901 to the present with names and areas can be found at: http://www.nobel.se (accessed Jan 2004).


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Bringing History to the Classroom: Spoofs about Problems in

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