July 20, 1934
INDUSTRIAL
AND ENGINEERING
Emanations L'AVANTAGE DE LA SCIENCE
CHEMISTRY
o u r conservative standpoint in terminology a n d impress u p o n t h e m t h a t t h e bestowal of fancj^ n a m e s is highly distasteful t o us. With best wishers, and in the hope t h a t some one will adopt me, t h e heavy oxygen water, as a p e t a n d relieve m y cousin, d i - b hydrogen-oxide, from overwork, I a m , Your watery,
JEROME ALEXANDER
H|Ol8
HYDROGEN-B-OXIDE,
(A translation from LaFontaine, Book V I I I , No. X I X )
A difference 'twixt two townsmen burned— (You'll understand the hitch)— T h e one was poor, b u t very learned, T h e other dull, b u t rich. T h e rich man, arrogant a n d proud, Maintained t h a t men of lore Should form a m u t e admiring crowd Within his ample door. (How stupid! F o r who honors wealth, Especially if obtained b y stealth?) "Friend," said t h e rich m a n to t h e sage, "You t h i n k you're something fine! Brings endless reading, page b y page, Your family cake and wine? You stop a t cheap third-rate hotels, Wear summer clothes in frigid spells; Your shadow is your only servant. Economists, who are observant, Say t h e Republic cannot live On those who nothing spend or give. W e spenders a r e t h e ones who k e e p T h e wheels of commerce t u r n i n g ; T h e artist, merchant, jeweler leap Whene'er we h a v e a yearning. And when we a r e inclined to flirt, W e p a y who makes—and w e a r s — t h e skirt. As for your stupid, boring books, We overpay you—more t h a n c o o k s . " T o this tirade, crude a n d absurd, The s a v a n t answered n o t a word. B u t F a t e , satirical, then spoke: Homeless W a r left both m e n — a n d broke. From land to land they wandered far— T h e sage was welcome ever; T h e other found n o door ajar, Despite his wild endeavor. Thus F a t e announced t o all t h e e a r t h : "Let donkeys bray—brain has its w o r t h . "
269
Calendar of Meetings American Chemical Society 8 8 T H M E E T I N G . Hotel Cleveland, Cleveland, Ohio, September 10 t o 14, 1934. 89TH MEETING. 90TH MEETING.
New Y o r k , N . Y . , week of A p r i l 22, 1935. San F r a n c i s c o , Calif.
Other Scientific Societies AMERICAN ASSOCIATION FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF SCIENCE.
Schenley Hotel, Pittsburgh, Pa., December 27,1934, to January 2, 1935. Annual Meeting. AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF TEXTILE CHEMISTS AND COLORISTS. Hotel New Yorker, New York, Ν. Υ., December 7 and 8, 1934. AMERICAN CERA31IC SOCIETY. Hotel Statler, Buffalo, Ν . Y., week of February 17, 1935. Joint meeting with National Brick Manufacturers Research Foundation. AMERICAN GAS ASSOCIATION, Public Auditorium, Atlantic City, N. J., week of October 29,1934. AMERICAN INST:TJTUTE OF CHEMICAL ENGINEERS. Pittsburgh, Pa., November 15 to 17, 1934. AMERICAN OIL CEŒMISTS' SOCIETY. Medinah Club, Chicago, 111., October 11 and 12, 1934. ELECTROCHEMICAJL SOCIETY. Hotel Pennsylvania, New York, Ν. Υ., September 27 to 29, 1934. ΡΑΓΝΤ, VARNISH, AND LACQUER ASSOCIATION. Mayflower Hotel, Washington, O . C, October 31 to November 3, 1934. Annual Convention. TECHNICAL ASSOCIATION OF THE PULP AND PAPER INDUSTRY. Portland, Ore.„ September 10 to 13, 1934. B I E N N I A L CONCLAVE O F A L P H A C H I SIGMA T H E T H I R T E E N T H B I E N N I A L C O N C L A V E , held i n B l o o m i n g t o n ,
A PROTEST FROM A RESPECTABLE FAMILY Editor, News Edition, Industrial and Engineering Chemistry: I W I S H t o protest against t h e scandalous publicity given to my cousin "heavy hydrogen water." A s members of t h e oldest and most aristocratic family, whose history antedates t h e founding of t h e planet Earth, w e believe t h a t we h a v e a r i g h t to object to this sudden outburst of publicity, involving t h e double life of our mother and t h e triple life of t h e governor. I personally interviewed mother a n d she confessed q u i t e calmly t h a t her double nature was very proper a n d if you give her such names as "deuterium" o r "diplogen" she will n o t object. Mother hydrogen is naturally quite feminine a n d likes fancy stage names; t h e family will have t o get used t o it. B u t when I asked t h e governor if h e would like to b e called "hexadecanogen, heptadecanine, a n d octodecanium" h e merely chuckled. Per sonally, I object most emphatically t o being called names like "protium octodecanide," and m y cousin abhors " d e u t e r i u m hexadecanide." A s we are both equally prominent m e m b e r s of the water family, we wish t h a t if there must be publicity, t h e honors be divided between us a n d t h a t one article or o n e lecture per m o n t h p e r m a n b e t h e limit. I a m sending y o u below a list of t h e accredited members of our family: hydrogen oxide, weight 18 b-hydrogen. oxide, weight 19 di-b-hydrogen oxide, weight 20 hydrogen-b-oxide, weight 20 b-hydrogen-b-oxide, weight 21 di-b-hydrogen-b-oxide, weight 22 hydrogen-c-oxide, weight 19 b-hydrogen-c-oxide, weight 20 di-b-hydrogen-c-oxide, weight 21 T h e c-oxygen branch (17) is extremely small, a n d t h e alleged c-hydrogen group (3) is unknown t o u s . M o t h e r says t h a t she never played t h e role of " t r i t i u m " or " t r i t e r i u m , " and whoever played i t m u s t have been swallowed by t h e s e a serpent. If y o u saw " t r i t i u m " y o u are h u n t i n g ghosts or h a v e seen an imposter of t h e helium tribe. Kindly t r a n s m i t t o y o u r colleagues
Ind., June 12 to 16, established a definite policy for professional activities, authorized t h e publication of a complete fraternity roll, a n d made possible a wider distribution of t h e Hexagon among professional members. T h e registrants n u m b e r e d 165. Four business sessions were held, a n initiation was performed, and a n open meeting sponsored. E n t e r t a i n m e n t consisted of a t r i p to Indianapolis f o r p l a n t inspection of E h Lilly & Co., a r e t u r n trip t h r o u g h ΒΓΟΛΛΉ C o u n t y , inspection of stone mills and q u a r r i e s adjacent t o Bloomington, a smoker, a n d a dinner dance. H e a d quarters were a t the U n i o n M e m o r i a l Building, Indiana U n i v e r sity, and a l l business sessions were held in t h e Chemistry B u i l d ing Auditorium. At the initiation, H o r a c e A. Shonle, E l i Lilly & Co., w a s i n ducted into membership a n d affiliated w i t h Epsilon ( I n d i a n a University) C h a p t e r . T h e open meeting w a s addressed b y F r a n k B . W a d e , of t h e Indiana University chapter, Indianapolis. His subject was ^'Gold a n d Precious Stones in I n d i a n a . " Marion E . L>ice. General P e t r o l e u m C o r p . (California) a n d recently elected chairman of t h e L o s Angeles Section of t h e AMERICAN
CKEIVUCAL
SOCIETY,
retired
as
national
president.
He was succeeded' b y H . E . W i e d e m a n n , consulting chemist, St. Louis. Y. W . Meloche, U n i v e r s i t y of Wisconsin, w a s r e elected first v i c e president i n charge of t h e collegiate c h a p t e r s . W m . Higburg, Heilly Chemical C o . , Indianapolis, was elected second vice president i n charge of t h e professional c h a p t e r s . Walter S. R i t c h i e , University of Missouri, was reelected n a t i o n a l ritualist. J o h n R. Kuebler, Indianapolis, w a s reappointed national secretary-treasurer. District officers a p p a i n t e d for t h e biennium 1934r-36 a r e as follows: H a r r y M . Vars, Philadelphia, P a . ; George H. Y o u n g , State College, 3Pa.; H a r o l d P . G a w , Middletown, Ohio; L . W . Van Doren, Chicago, 111.; M a r v i n C . Rogers, H a m m o n d , I n d . ; A. W a t s o n C h a p m a n , New Orleans, L a . ; G . F . Breckenridge, Columbia, M o . ; A. B . Campbell, Grass Valley, Calif.; H . M . Hann, Washington, D . C , will serve as counselor for the S o u t h ern District u n t i l his successor is appointed. A. D . H U N T h a s been appointed m a n a g e r of engineering a t t h e South Philadelphia plant of t h e Westinghouse Electric & Mfg. Co., succeeding J o h n M . Lessells, who h a s resigned to o p e n a n office a s consulting engineer.
