New Text The Texas Irish
New Text Let's Keep if QUIET! Cleveland Air-Cushioned V i b r a t o r s are m o v i n g a n d s e t t l i n g a wide v a r i e t y of c h e m i c a l s in bins, h o p p e r s , chutes and screens. They're doing it efficiently-, t h e y ' r e doing it every day a n d they're doing it Q U I E T L Y . Catalog No. 108 will give you further details.
Tall tales have often been told about the prowess of the Irish; taller tales have been told by and about Texans, and Glenn McCarthy, a combination of the two, has not escaped the tall-tale status. The most recent, however, puts all others in the shade, scientifically speaking. Mr. McCarthy had called a press conference to make an announcement of "international importance." After cooling their collective heels for a while, the newsmen were told that McCarthy was too ill to hold a conference. In quoting one of McCarthy's representatives the Houston Post reported that the Texas Irishman was running a 104° temperature and had been given 15,000 cubic centimeters of penicillin. When you have a few extra quarts of penicillin, boys, send 'em to Texas. N e w Gettysburg Address For the Embattled Taxpayer One score and nineteen years ago, our fathers brought forth upon this nation a new tax, conceived in desperation and dedicated to the proposition that all men are fair game. Now we are engaged in a great mass of calculations, testing whether that taxpayer or any taxpayer so confused and so impoverished can long endure. We are met on Form 1040. We have come to dedicate a large portion of our income to a final resting place with those who here spend their lives that they may spend our money. It is altogether anguish and torture that we should do this. But in the legal sense we cannot evade, we cannot cheat, we cannot underestimate this tax. The collectors, clever and sly, who computed here, have gone far beyond our power to add or subtract. Our creditors will little note nor long remember what we pay here, but the Bureau of Internal Revenue can never forget what we report here. It is for us, the taxpayers, rather to be devoted here to the tax return which the Government has thus far so nobly spent. It is rather for us to be dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these vanished dollars we take increased devotion to the few remaining; that we here highly resolve that next year will not find us in a higher income tax bracket; that this taxpayer, underpaid, shall figure out more deductions; and that taxation of the people, by the Congress, and for the 0 overnment shall not cause our solvency to perish. —ANONYMOUS
New Text 2861 Clinton Ave. - Cleveland 13, Ohio 848
Let's Try Them A n y w a y The preferred catalyst for the production of chlorinated aliphatic nitriles, according to U. S. Patent 2,426,091, is "silver chloride supported on prunes." On reading further, however, we find a "Certificate of Correction" that directs the reader to read "pumice" for "prunes." CHEMICAL
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