WENDELL H. SLABAUGH Oregon State University CONallis, 97331
When All Else Fails A new instrument had just arrived in the lahoratory, and there was the usual excitement of unpacking it, setting it up, and turning i t on. All the dials lighted up, the meters wiggled, and to everyone's satisfaction. A final check, however, revealed a flaw which resulted in a letter to the company: "Why in hell do you send us such a fine instrument without the knoh for the on-off switch? P.S. Since writing we find the damn knoh in the box."
The First Rung A late-arriving student found himself fared with the midterm examination. He tried desperatelv to find a question where he might display aileast hit of knowledge of the subject, but gave up and handed in his paper with little more than his name on it. "What's the matter?" ask the kindly professor. "I had a had night, sir," was the halting reply. "I was initiated into the fraternity last night." "Well, such ceremonies are supposed to end at midnight. Why are you in such bad shape?" "After initiation they installed me into office!' "That's strange that a newly initiated member would he given an office right after taking him in. What office was conferred on you?" "Ah so, but this is a fine fraternity. They made me Imperial Supreme King of the Universe!' "Isn't that an unusually high office for a new member?" "No, sir. This is the lowest office. After a time they give me something really worthwhile."
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Alice Started, Analysis Done The university purchasing agent had received two identical low bids for a product and decided to
762 I Journal of Chemical Education
send them to the chemistry department for analysis. Consequently, two bottles of pale yellow fluid, marked A and B came t o the department chairman with the request for analysis. The chairman, of course, referred the mattertoa professor who dele. gated it down the line where it finally came to three graduate students for the actual work. The results of the analysis were based on measurements such as water content, viscosity, pH, and nmr spectra. Also in the report were the findings: Color: pale yellow, A slightly paler than B Stability: forms stable foam an shaking, A and B identical Taste: A: too sweet, has long aftertaste. B: slightly bitter but otherwise pleasant. No hangover. Upon receiving this report the purchasing agent grabbed the phone and called the chairman. "What the hell, man! I'm trying to buy some mucilage. Can't someone tell me if those samples will stick two pieces of paper together?"
Weather or Not Forecast: Faculty Senate meets tomorrow. Favorable weather, mild to fair, gentle breezes with occasional gusts on campus.
Readers of the JOURNAL are cordially invited to submit their contributionsto this feature. Hopefully,the sharing of your chemical anecdotes, puzzles, cartoons, and such will enable all of us to be better chemists and chemical educators. The source of all contributions should be identified, but the contributor may request that the item aonear . . anonvmouslv in the JOURNAL. Send yourcontributions to: Wendell H. Slabaugh, Department of Chemistry, Oregon State Univer~ity,Corvalli*,OR 9331.
