Chemical Education Today
From Past Issues
Students Say the Darnedest Things by Kathryn R. Williams
The picture reproduced at right originally appeared in April 1925 as part of an article, “Some Novel Ideas in General Chemistry”, by William Foster of Princeton University (JCE, 1925, 2, 289–291.) Sketched by a student at the end of the term, the drawing “shows better than words his inability to pass the final examination”. Even more amusing is the article itself, which contains an assortment of statements from general chemistry exams and reports. According to Foster, “If one sat down and attempted to make up such ‘howlers’ he would probably not be half so successful.” In a note following the article, Journal editor Neil Gordon explores the possibility of a regular page devoted to classroom humor of this ilk. Response must have been reasonably favorable because the May issue contains a new column, “Classroom Emanations”, with a collection of two dozen choice quotes from student papers. The following month’s page presents 16 more utterances and some comments by readers, for example: “Whenever I see statements of this sort on any of my papers, I try to analyze them to determine how much of the foolish statement is due to lack of care on my part…I believe these …should be a real lesson for a thoughtful teacher.” Gordon’s stock of contributions yielded a total of four pages of student bloopers in 1925 (appearing in May, June, July, and December). The supply must have dwindled after that because volume 3 contains only two “Classroom Emanations” pages (January and June of 1926), with none in volume 4 and only one in volume 5 (March 1928). Material of
this type reappears in volume 8 with a one-and-ahalf-page piece entitled “Bittersweet” (JCE, 1931, 8, 1492), in which Gordon reminds teachers to “salvage a laugh or two from their bales of discarded examination papers.” His encouragement met with some success because the December 1931 issue contains a swan-song installment of “Classroom Emanations”. The end of 1931 marks the farewell appearance of these now precious quips. Later issues contain scattered attempts at humor written primarily by faculty to spice their lectures. For example, in 1942, JCE reproduced “Freshman Definitions” from The Kalends. The best attempt at humor is the definition of barium as “what you do to dead people”. I’m sure today’s readers will find that this contrivance ranks at the bottom when compared to the selection of student quips from JCE presented below. If something from a JCE from decades past strikes your fancy, consider letting other readers know. Write it up for the From Past Issues page. Send your ideas or submissions to Kathryn R. Williams, Department of Chemistry, University of Florida, P. O. Box 117200, Gainesville, FL 32611-7200, email:
[email protected].
My Favorite Student Emanations (1925–1931) Colloids may be separated from chrystalloids by filtering through a mucous membrane. (1925, 2, 289) Sulphur is pumped out of the ground by means of three pipes inside each other. There are three modifications: monoclinic, rhombic, and iambic. (1925, 2, 289) Air cannot be a chemical compound because chemistry was not invented until thousands of years after the creation. (1925, 2, 408) Mercury is prepared by distilling the bark of the cinnabar tree. (1925, 2, 408) Reduction is the substitution of hydrogen for another element. Hydrogen, being the lightest known element, the weight of the compound is thus reduced. (1925, 2, 408) Denatured alcohol is alcohol which has not fermented. (1925, 2, 501) A formula is a group of letters that can be broken up into elements. (1925, 2, 501) A gas is a dry liquid. (1925, 2, 611) The electrochemical series is a series of substances arranged so that the metal above will displace hydrogen from the metal below. (1925, 2, 611) 888
Nitrogen is mined in the form of bismuth and antimony. (1925, 2, 1196) The Muscle Shoals Plant is found in almost any woods. It is something to eat. (1925, 2, 1196) Galvanized iron is iron which is used for making galvanometers. (1926, 3, 103) Gunpowder is mixed thoroughly so as to fool the ingredients into thinking they are a compound. (1926, 3, 103) Temporary and permanent hardness of water signifies whether the water is in the form of snow or ice. (1926, 3, 103) To tell which of two samples of ammonia water is the stronger, smell each of them, and the one which makes the most tears come in your eyes is the stronger. (1926, 3, 723) We breathe out carbon dioxide and beverages breathe it in. Beverages need carbon dioxide to grow. (1926, 3, 723) An element is a substance which cannot be dissociated by the will of the experimenter. (1928, 5, 355) Water exists in two states, tap water and distilled water. (1928, 5, 355) Allotropy is the science of making alloys. (1931, 8, 2435) A hydrate is a water remover. (1931, 8, 2435)
Journal of Chemical Education • Vol. 76 No. 7 July 1999 • JChemEd.chem.wisc.edu
