WENDELL H. SLABAUGH Oregon State University Corvallis. 97331
Chemical Education There are basic differences between the professor and the student: The professor fills the bottles and the students empty them in the sink. The professor designs and builds equipment and the students bust%. The professor;epairs the equipment and the students bust it. Finally, the student takes a final oral examination in defense of a thesis where he is questioned and the professor gives the answer.
On Time A traveling representative took to riding Amtrak, findine that the delays and irredarities gave him plenty Gf time t o write up orders and do other paper work. On a particular trip the train pulled into his destination precisely on time. Delighted with the service, he offered a cigar to the conductor upon deboarding. "Thank you, but what's the occasion?" asked the conductor. "I've been riding Amtrak for several months, and this is the first time the train arrived on time." was the reply. "Well. this looks like a mightv fine cigar, but I can%accept it on false pretense; You se;, sir, this ain't today's train, its yesterday's train!'
4 Trivial Deduction A couple of mathematicians were trying t o make something of the interminable discussion devolvine on a minor curricular ~ r o v o s a in l the facultv senate chamber. A particuiarl; analytical senator, likely a political scientist, went on and on with deliberate trivia for an extended time, when one of the mathematicians asked his friend: "What's he talking about?" "He hasn't said, yet," was the whispered reply.
I8 I J o m l of Chemical Education
Universal Implications Almost every campus is endowed with one or more self-appointed prima donnas who lacka highly popular status with both faculty associates and students. Furthermore. it is eenerallv understood that such individuals believetheir cblleagues are envious of the ineenious abilities disvlaved . . on anv and all occasions wherever the opportunity arises. A t a coffee break session one of these individuals was favoring the group with his pronounced views on a particular matter. From behind the coffee urn an associate lifted a dismal face and said, "Professor Snort, let me tell you something. Some morning you're going to he found dead in bed with your throat cut from ear to ear. "More than a thousand people in this town will he arrested on suspicion of murder!"
Perfectly Clear In one of his tour lectures. Otto Eisenschiml. the famous oil chemist, described his research o n the chemistrv of odors. He devoted much thoueht and time to r&olving a particular problem, thatof finding how a rat, caught in a trap, warns other rats to avoid the re-set trap. One day, while driving in a heavy traffic rush in a Chicago street, the answer came. After a series of close calls with lane-changers, tail-gaters, and cahdrivers, traffic came to a screeching halt and the sounds of tinkling glass. In spite of overriding tension, the good doctor maintained his powers of ohservation. An irate driver's vehement remarks were met by a calm, assured apology and a grateful reply. "Why thank me, sir? I've just now busted your tail lights," admitted the tail-gater. "You've helped in solving a long-standing problem. I've just discovered how rats warn their colleagues to stay away from the trap!"
